All of life is a trade-off

For most of my life, I have made a simple observation. Life is more than merely making ‘decisions’ – everyone understands we have to make a decision – but what we almost always miss is the ‘trade off’ that comes with it. Whenever we make a decision – we assume there is a ‘right’ decision – and that the ‘right decision’ is what has the least ‘negative impact’ or has the ‘biggest gain.’ Sadly, it’s never that simple – and that’s what blindsides us.

EVERYTHING – I mean absolutely everything – is a tradeoff. Take a simple thing : like buying a book. Buying a book is a tradeoff because now you have less money for something else. Going out with your friends is a tradeoff because you have less time for your studies – or to be with your family. Having a drink, joyful as it maybe, is injurious to your health. Being the gym makes you fitter, but needs an annual subscription, plus time off from work or studies or family. If you get married, many of your ‘typical’ liberties will be surrendered, but if you remain single, you will never really have the opportunity to experience the joy of deep and meaningful companionship! EVERYTHING is a tradeoff.

Now, here’s my point. The point is NOT to overthing things, nor get ‘aparalysed by the analysis’ : but to acknowledge that every decision you take ultimately DOES have a tradeoff. When we don’t see it that way, we are often ‘suprised’ by the tradeoff when it comes knocking to collect. We are often never congnicent of it, until it is too late, and then, we are utterly frustrated about it. We work really hard to find financial independence and get annoyed when our spouse tells us we are not at home. We try hard to ensure we are at our kids’ events, and are upset when I superiors tell us ‘you don’t prioratise work’. We want to really live it up because we will not be ‘young always’ and then are absolutely gutted when we realise we are in debt or have nothing aved when we hit middle age.

This is why knowing what you REALLY want matter. Knowing, REALLY knowing, what YOU want out of YOUR LIFE makes making these ‘tradeoffs’ very very easy. My mom always comes to mind. She insisted, at the interview itself, that she had to leave sharp at five, because she wanted to come home to ensure dinner was sorted, and my homework was done. This was not negotiable. Often mom was passed on for promotions, though she ensured her work was done on time, simply because she left office ‘on the dot’ and back then, it was almost always frowned upon. She didn’t mind. I came first. Period. For her, that tradeoff was a no brainer.

I must admit, I found it a lot harder. I did want all of it – all at the same time. However, I did realise, rather early on, that that was only possible if you were naive, and lying to yourself. NONE of us, have ALL OF IT, all at the same time. Those who are rich, worked for years to get there, and sacrificed a hell of a lot for it. Those who are really happy are often poor, and have no issues with it. Those who excel in a sport often have no ‘life’ until they retire. What we see, specially on social media, is only what we WANT TO SEE, or be ‘shown’ – reality is often very very different.

So, next time, whenever you are making a decision – especially a key decision – ask what the tradeoff is – and be ok living with it. Otherwise, you will almost always go around in circles: when the trade-off comes asking you to pay up, you will be unprepared and change your decision. Life, then, becomes a ‘reaction’ : rather than a carefully thought through set of actions…