Ever since my son turned 14, he has been arm wrestling with me. It started in school, where he had been ‘challenged’ by a few of his friends. He won some, lost some, and then he started getting a little competitive about it. With football practice increasing in intensity and fitness taking centre stage in his life, he wanted to get stronger, and he did. But, he could never win an arm wrestling bout with me: till now…
His focus on fitness intensified in the recent past. He not only regimented his exercise regimens, he also started becoming extremely focused on what he ate as well. I never thought I would see him giving up on sweets: but he did, for nearly a full month. ZERO sugar. No carbs after 5pm. A swim each morning at five, in the chilly climes of Kandy. Workouts daily. 5-10km runs each weekend. He zoned in.
And the results showed. He was not only stronger, he also had way more stamina than before. And… it showed when he took his shirt off – much to the amusement of both my wife and my daughter, who would rib him about wanting to be ‘vain’ in front of the mirror. He didn’t mind. He was proud – and he should be.
And then, one day, he beat me at arm wrestling. I gave a good fight: but it was clear as daylight that he was stronger.
Now, it was my turn to start catching up – and I knew the catching up is going to be painfully difficult. I was out of shape. Utterly unfit. And, at fifty, hopelessly inept to go on a ‘diet’ and give up on food I have grown to love and relish. But… I knew there was merit in ‘competing’ with my son: it was not only going to drive me – it was going to drive him too. So, we started working out together, sharing notes on our diet plans, exercise regimes, and also, little tips. We are competing, but we are doing it in a way that enabled BOTH to make significant strides…
There is merit in competing. It helps each of us get better. It is the toxicity and envy that we need to take out of the equation. He may beat me one day: I may beat him on the other: but we BOTH grow much more with each passing day because we are trying to outdo each other…
So… find a sparring partner to compete with – but do it in a way that you both grow. Eventually, you will find that you both become unrecognisable. Don’t compete to ‘beat’ the other – do so to grow…
Everything teaches: even arm wrestling with your son…
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